Graham Smout
goes through his memory bank

 

Graham is a keen photographer and took this in 1975. This lady served tea in between lectures at Greenhill where a lot of the English department were based.

Acland Residents
In 1975 I was a resident of Acland Hall. This was a mixed hall, in more ways than one.

My immediate neighbours were John Wilson, main course PE; and Colin Ventress, main course drama . I was good mates with both as I was taking both outdoor education and drama along with Lit.

Colin was true eccentric, he made "arty"  films on super 8 cine film. John & I were the"stars" of these mini 3 minute epics. John Wilson was a typical PE person, he felt that since the invention of writing in particular and language in general, the  progress of mankind had been held back. All of us had a weakness for beer, but while some of us claimed to know when to be able to stop, to others this wasn't even open for consideration.

 
 
 

 

 

Laundry Danger

I also recall a near fatal experience in the college laundry. Those with good memories may recall the college had drying cabinets operated by electricity. You placed your jeans and T shirts in the cabinet, turned it on and went away fro a few days, to return only to find your scorched and stiffened clothes ruined and unwearable.

One day I was doing the blue wash when in came a few ladies to empty the machines. One girl went up to a cabinet, touched the door and collapsed into the cabinet. Being of unusually sound mind and vision, I realised;  electric cabinet + wet floor +  human being = electric circuit. I spotted the fuses on high up out of reach  on the wall and stabbed at them with a handy wooden pole that just happened to be lying around. Then I turned to the unconscious female in the cabinet. She was not looking good, I used the pole to remove her too. Did I do this on my own, or were there others there? I simply cannot remember. Was she badly injured? who was she? Why is this a mystery?

 

Another near Acland neighbour was John Carberry, the drama lecturer, in residence in the staff flat. We were all well aware of Johns' preferences and on more than one occasion while trolling back from the bar of an evening, he would ask, "do any of you chaps fancy a nightcap?"

A polite refusal was usually given, but I remember one occasion when about 40 of us agreed to join John for a "nightcap". I think we drank him dry in about 30 seconds and then, to a man we all promptly made our
excuses, and left!! Shortly after we could all be found having a nightcap with Jan in her room on the top floor.

 
Graham (above left) was on the editorial staff of the Farrago college magazine. Ray Stirling, principal, is centre of photo.
 
Another event that sticks in my mind was meeting Carl in the basement corridor one gloomy Sunday afternoon. Carl was a bit of a hippy chap and devoted much of his time to his hippy girlfriend. He hailed me from the other end of the basement and then uncharacteristically sprinted along to catch me up. "Hey man, " he drawled in the laid back tones of the era, " have you got a condom? " "Er, no I don t think so " I replied, adding swiftly " I think I used the last one, er...last night" So there then embarked a seriously massive college wide search  for a condom. The search was fruitless, "(ha ha) and not even a trip the gents condom vending machine in the bar produced any result. No one enquired why Carl wanted the condom, it was just assumed it was because he and his girl wanted to liven up the afternoon with something a bit more exotic. But it struck me only recently, that was an assumption on everyones part, there are other non-sexual uses for condoms!
 
Photos kindly donated from Graham's collection. Click here to see more.

 

 

 

Hild Hall Incident

Strolling back from the Union bar after closing  to my room in Acland Hall was frequently a lengthy journey, sometimes caused by stops for calls of nature, sometimes by lengthy & amusing  chats with Stan the security man in his hut near the Bakehouse or  Outdoor Acts equipment store. If he knew you Stan would let you into the basement corridor linking all the halls as the main doors to the halls were locked after 11.00pm for "security purposes"

During one such chat Stan recalled the after hours antics of a recent male visitor to Hild Hall, the first and all alluring, all female hall. Hild was covered in thickly matted ivy to quite a height above the ground. Very late one night Stan heard a screech form the direction of the Hild and quick as a flash, ran from his hut, torch in hand plying his beam up, down and across the hall frontage.

Some scuffling gave away the location of an intrepid visitor, clinging perilously to the ivy thirty or forty feet above the ground

"Oi! What do you think you are doing up there " yelled Stan,  dazzling his victim with his flashlight beam.

"I've lost my budgie, " came the reply.

Stan reckoned he was completely lost for words and watched in rigid awe as the student slowly descended to ground level.

Why we found this amusing I can't really begin to explain.

Were you that male climber?
Were you the budgie?
Answers please on a £20.00 note to .......

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